


The Pecan Street Boys, or "Unintentionally Came Out To Pastor"

by TrillianSwan



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, EliotWaughSummerOfShame, Episode: s04e05 Escape From the Happy Place, TMSSOS, it sounds angsty but it's not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25386742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrillianSwan/pseuds/TrillianSwan
Summary: It’s an Escape attempt From The Happy Place, ft. Charlton and Pastor John.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 15
Collections: Eliot Waugh's Spectacular Summer of Shame





	The Pecan Street Boys, or "Unintentionally Came Out To Pastor"

**Author's Note:**

> for the Eliot Waugh’s Spectacular Summer of Shame prompt, in which we write the bad memories from the chalkboard in _Escape From The Happy Place_

Charlton sat on the couch watching Eliot, trapped in his own mind and desperate to find a way out, approach a cheap white wooden door that stood improbably in the middle of the room. It bore a plaque that read, _Youth Ministry._

“Are you going to try another one, then?” he said as he stood to join him. Eliot had made a list on a conjured chalkboard of his worst regrets and cringe-worthy memories, and had been through a few of them already, looking for the one that would free him from this prison.

“Yes,” Eliot said firmly, although his resolve sounded grim. “You don’t have to come see _all_ of them.”

“I know. But you shouldn’t have to do it alone. Where is this one?” Charlton asked, trying to sound chipper to keep Eliot’s spirits up. “Or, when?”

Eliot hung his head and sighed as he leaned on the doorknob. “I was sixteen, and this is the First Baptist Church. A youth group meeting, on a Wednesday night. This one was about dating-- courtship?-- which was not discouraged, and sex, which _definitely_ was.”

“And these are the people who did not like you being with men, you said?” Charlton asked. His Fillory, even a thousand years ago, was free of such taboos. It was still difficult for him to understand Earth culture in many ways, but this above all confounded him. 

“Yes,” Eliot said. “Well, I mean, no one did. But yes, this is mostly why they felt that way, what our church taught. This man, Pastor John, wasn’t so bad. He was our youth pastor, like a priest for the kids? But I am pretty sure I ruined his life. Starting on this Wednesday night.”

Charlton put a hand on his shoulder. “You were just a boy, Eliot. Maybe it is not as bad as you think.”

“Yeah,” Eliot said non-committedly and pushed open the door.

The room that appeared on the other side was brightly lit, the windows rendered into mirrors from the darkness outside. There was a ring of folding chairs in the center, and a group of teenagers stood in the middle, their heads bowed and their eyes closed, holding hands. The lone adult was a man in his mid-thirties, and though he wore civilian Earth clothes rather than a priest’s robes, Charlton surmised this was their _youth pastor,_ as he was giving what sounded like a prayer. 

The two interlopers to this memory made their way to an empty corner of the room to watch.

 _“Amen,”_ the youth said in unison as the pastor finished.

“All right, y’all, pizza’s in the kitchen, have at it,” he said.

The room became abuzz with teenagers chatting and laughing as they all filed out of the room. A blond girl stopped at the door, causing a bit of a backup in the exiting group, and called back to a tall boy with brown curly hair. “El-i-ot, do you want me to fix you a plate?” she asked, her voice dripping in sugar.

The other girls around her looked to him, some with intense curiosity, and others with pained expressions. This moment felt suddenly portentous, and though Eliot’s young face was unfamiliar to him, Chartlon could still read how uncomfortable he was. 

“Maybe he should get his own this time, Kayleigh,” Pastor John intervened. “I need to chat with him.”

“Okay,” the girl beamed, “but I’ll save you a seat.” She and the other girls broke into giggles and made their way into the hall, leaving the two of them alone.

“Crisis averted,” Pastor John chuckled. He collected a large book and other papers from a table. “Follow me down to my office, would you?” 

Charlton and Eliot followed them out the door and down the hall, in the opposite direction to the giggles of teenagers, to another white door with a plaque. This one read _Youth Pastor / John White._

“Did I-- do something?” Young Eliot asked nervously as they went inside the small office, filled with a large desk and lined with bookshelves.

“I had tried to act interested in the meeting, like the other boys,” Eliot explained. “But I was bored of the _keep it in your pants until marriage_ message, and not at all interested in God’s Plan of Heteronormativity. I thought maybe I hadn’t hidden that well enough, and I was bracing myself for the worst.”

“No,” the pastor said. He leaned back on the desk and cleared his throat. “Listen, I’ll be honest with you. You’re getting older, taller, gettin’ to be a real looker, if you get what I’m saying.”

“No…” Young Eliot looked nervous.

“Pastor John was new,” Eliot explained to Charlton. “And I wasn’t sure he wasn’t hitting on me.”

“You have a passel of these girls following you around,” the pastor noted, “making moony looks at you. Kayleigh especially.”

“I’m-- sorry?” Young Eliot said, rubbing the back of his neck.

Pastor John smiled warmly. “I’m not trying to put you on the spot, son, I’m just wondering if you’re starting to think about dating any of these lovely ladies. And if so, if you’ve given any thought to the fallout.”

“I mean,” Young Eliot shifted awkwardly, and crossed his arms over his chest, hugging his elbows, “that’s what the class was about, right?”

“I don’t mean that kind of fallout. What’s gonna happen in our youth group when you finally choose one, and not the others?”

“Oh, I see.” Young Eliot looked very relieved.

“I’d sure hate to see our meetings turn into tears. And a young man should get the opportunity to change his mind. But if you change your mind and date another girl--”

“More fallout,” Young Eliot nodded sagely.

“I’m afraid so. The burden of the handsome young man, I suppose.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to look elsewhere.” A slight smile played around the corner of his lips, though he stared at the floor.

“Might be a good idea,” Pastor John agreed. “Pecan Street Baptist has a movie night coming up, I could set you up with a young man to go with, to introduce you around.”

“Oh.” Young Eliot flushed red and laughed. “Well.”

“And here’s where it starts,” Eliot sighed to Charlton. 

The pastor looked at him curiously. “Now, see, that’s the reaction I thought I’d get from bringin’ up the girls.”

“Oh-- I-- Oh!” Young Eliot stammered as his wide eyes snapped to the pastor’s, his ears now flaming red as well. 

“I just wanted to die,” Eliot explained, “or run away, or be instantly teleported anywhere else. I just knew he was going to make a scene out of this, yell me all about how I was going to hell--”

“I see,” the pastor frowned. “Well, that puts a lot of things into perspective.”

“Don’t tell my dad!” Young Eliot cried out, pleading. The door slammed shut. Charlton understood this to be his telekinesis, but the pastor turned quickly to the window, which was cracked open as if surprised he hadn’t felt the breeze that had caught the door.

“It just came out, before I could even form a _thought_ to get myself out of this,” Eliot said. “It wasn’t that bad yet, I could have spun some sort of story. But I got so scared that this was going to blow up my life-- at home, you know, with _him--_ I just panicked. And with that, I’d basically confessed.” 

Pastor John turned back to Young Eliot, his brows furrowed with worry over the pain in the boy’s face. “I’m not going to tell anyone anything, son,” he assured him. “I won’t need to. You’re a good boy, and you’re going to date a girl from Pecan Street Baptist, and everything is going to be just as the Lord wants it.”

“Right,” Young Eliot said sadly and stared at his shoes again.

“And this is why he got fired,” Eliot said, and rolled his shoulders, as he did when he was facing something difficult.

“Lots of pretty girls over there,” the pastor went on as if nothing was amiss. He lifted up off the desk and went to the bookshelf to put away his book and materials. “Thing about Pecan Street Baptist, though-- I’m worried about ‘em.”

“Are you?” Young Eliot asked, confused. 

“Yeah, they’re way over there by the meat-packing plant, you know, that’s closing. I don’t see any way that they don’t lose over half their congregation. People will move away, find work somewhere else.”

“That would-- be a shame,” Young Eliot agreed.

“Like, let’s say, for example,” the pastor went on, puttering around his desk and not looking at Eliot, “that you met a nice girl over there on movie night. And then her pa loses his job and moves the family away. Why, then you’d have a girlfriend over in some other town-- or heck, maybe another _state._ You couldn’t take her to football games, or prom. It would all just be your word that you even _had_ a girlfriend, if you see what I mean.”

There was a long silence, and then Young Eliot’s eyes widened. “I-- think so?”

“I’m just saying, the Lord works in mysterious ways, son,” Pastor John said, finally looking at him, with kind eyes. “Do you-- have a-- _friend,_ in a similar predicament?”

“No one-- special?”

“Everyone is special, son. Just like the Lord made us,” the pastor said and looked very serious.

“Oh? OH!” Young Eliot said, his eyes widening further, and his mouth falling open in surprise. 

“I was just thinking,” Pastor John went on casually, “if you had a friend who would _also_ like to find a girlfriend at Pecan Street Baptist, maybe you should bring him with you, to movie night. Even if he isn’t a particularly close friend of yours. I’m sure you’re not the only one who could use some help finding a nice girl.”

“I’ll ask around.”

“Let’s not make it an invasion, shall we? And bring some cash, for donations. That church is going to be hurting, soon.” 

This was plausible enough, but even Charlton understood that coin would stop anyone from asking too many questions about the boys’ motivations for appearing at a strange church that sounded like it was miles away. 

Young Eliot seemed to understand this as well. “Yessir,” he replied, with a bit of teenage scoff at the hypocrisy of adults. 

Pastor John put a hand on his shoulder. “Eliot, you’re going to be fine. Do you have access to the internet?”

“Yessir.”

“Well, there are many folks on there who will tell you just any old thing about sex. And they’ll tell you all about the importance of _always using a condom,_ even if a lady isn’t involved,” he added, giving him a final pat on the shoulder for emphasis, and leaned back against the desk again.

“It’s the Wild West on the internet, for sure,” Young Eliot agreed with a sly grin.

“I was going through a cowboy porn phase,” Eliot explained, his voice tinged with nostalgia. “After I’d finally managed to see _Brokeback Mountain."_

“What they don’t get, see,” Pastor John said patiently, “is that the Plan is still the Plan. The Lord doesn’t want us bouncing around from bed to bed, being unhappy. At the risk of repeating my story from earlier, you have that nice lawn out there, and it looks so nice, out there, where it’s supposed to be. You scoop all that up and dump it in the middle of the sanctuary--”

“It’s just a mess, I know. I was listening. Sex is a gift from the Lord, and misusing it is a sin. But-- not everyone can get married.”

“That is true. But son, _the Plan is still the Plan._ I’m going to give you a preview of the parable I’m working up for the boys’ class next week. When you plant a flower bed, you put a barrier around it to protect it, and you prepare the soil, and you plant your seeds, and take care of the plants that grow, and you will have a lovely flower garden in the future. If you just throw your seeds all over the grass and hope for the best, you’ll end up with a mess too. Does that make sense?”

“I think you’re going to get a lot of laughs out of _seed,”_ Young Eliot smirked, like he couldn’t help himself. 

“I suppose you’re right,” the pastor chuckled. “I was just trying to find a way to describe how the Lord’s plan for sex is in a _committed relationship,_ in which you get a good foundation and build on it and _then_ enjoy sex, with someone you truly love, and maybe even marry, someday, if the Lord allows. But you’re right,” he added casually, as if he wasn’t giving actual advice and they were just chatting about next week’s class, _"seed_ is bad. There’s got to be a good farming metaphor.”

“He was from the city,” Eliot explained to Charlton. “He had some trouble communicating with the rustics.”

“I’d stay away from _plowing,”_ Young Eliot said dryly.

The pastor laughed heartily. “I hear you. Now, go get yourself some of that pizza before it all goes cold.”

“Yeah, okay.” The boy started to leave, but turned back. “Hey, Pastor John… thanks.”

“You’re a good kid, Eliot. Be good. That’s what the Lord wants.”

“I’ll try,” Young Eliot smiled.

The youth pastor’s office dissolved around them, and Eliot and Charlton were standing in the Cottage Common Room again.

“Pastor John only lasted another six weeks at First Baptist,” Eliot explained. “Some said he just wasn’t a good fit, being a _city boy._ Some thought he was a secret liberal sent by the devil to tempt them. None of them cared too much for his _Jesus loves everybody, even the gays and Muslims_ attitude. But I’m pretty sure it was this. Me.”

“Did you go to the other church?” Charlton asked.

“Yes, more than once,” Eliot said. “Pastor John was right, most of the congregation moved away. And I, it was _well_ known, had a girlfriend in Ohio for the last two years of high school. As did two of my friends. Everyone called us _The Pecan Street Boys._ They called us worse behind our backs, I’m pretty sure, even though to our faces we were treated like we were all unfortunate star-crossed lovers. And so I’m _sure_ that in the end, _this_ is what got Pastor John transferred. He was the only adult that ever accepted the real me, _and I chased him away.”_ His eyes welled up with tears, but he sank back on the sofa, tilting his head up on the cushion to blink them back.

“Eliot, you were only a boy,” Charlton pointed out. “How much could this have really been about you? You said there were all kinds of other reasons people gave.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Eliot said, and ran his hands through his hair. 

“And he was trying to do the right thing, it seems like, within the confines of your customs. And that was a risk he took, to try to help.”

“But he didn’t _have_ to!” Eliot moaned. “If only I could have _just kept the mask up,_ he wouldn’t have seen, and he wouldn’t have tried to help, and then he could have been around longer. For all the other shit.” He leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

Charlton sat next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. “It’s not your fault. He was a grown man, making his own decisions. And you were someone who needed shelter, which he gave you. I really don’t think anyone needs to be sorry about what happened that night. Of course, I’m sorry your customs were so restrictive, but in context...”

There was a pause, as Eliot considered this. “In context, he saved my bacon,” he finally agreed, rubbing his face. “He never did tell my dad, or anything. And he pretended he’d met the imaginary girlfriend, vouched for me. I just wish _so bad_ that I hadn’t put him in that position!”

“You were just being yourself, I really don’t think you need to feel sorry about that,” Charlton said, and patted him on the shoulder as Pastor John had done.

“Maybe not, I don’t know. Anyway, I didn’t get a door out of here.” Eliot rose and went to the chalkboard, where he crossed out _Unintentionally Coming Out To Pastor._ “See what you say about me _being myself_ when you see the rest of these. But I will need a drink, first.” 

“Take your time,” Charlton said. He settled back on the couch. Eliot needed a break, and maybe even a laugh. He wondered how he could talk him into revisiting _Haircut 2005_ and _Haircut 2007_.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a really good pastor when I was young, and the sex and dating advice in this story actually came from him (Pastor Bill). I never came out to him, but his wife unfortunately did, and though we had moved by then word has it he was really supportive of her, which cost him a lot of his congregation, sadly. (I don't think he would have really encouraged me to hide it like John does here.) Anyway, hats off to Pastor Bill, wherever he is now, and the plaid pants he wore to our socials that he called his "party pants". :) I wish I had found a way to work those in. :)
> 
> Oh, and his 16 year old son was HOOOTTTT and did cause a lot of drama by dating in our group, which was another inspiration. :)
> 
> Special thanks to the Hivemind for their beta help, particularly coldfiredragon!


End file.
